Raising Money for Poetry!!

Raising Money for Poetry!!

Here in Tucson, AZ, there is a great non-profit, Casa Libre, that supports a literary community of poets in this city. They hold donation-based readings and workshops (not donation-based) hosted by poets from Arizona and all over the United States. As a woman of color, I really appreciate that they go out of their way to welcome and include diverse poets and readers in their community so that everyone’s voice can be heard.

There are having an event called “500 Sonnets” on June 9th to raise money for their organization so we can keep having readings and paying poets.

I will be writing and reading sonnets for this event on June 9th and need sponsors to help me reach my goal of raising $100. 

You can sponsor me here. You will need to key in my name after you click “shop” and my name is “Andrea Ivy.” You can sponsor me before the event or on the day of online.

Thank you for reading and donating if you are able.

Minimalism

Minimalism

I have so many things around that I am not using, that I carry from place to place, that have sentimental value, that I need. Why am I not using these things? Why am I carrying them around? Why do these things have sentimental value? Why do I need them?

Let use books for example. I have over 60 books that I plan to sell/donate over the next 3 weeks. Some of these books I’ve had since high school. Yeah, high school. Over 10 years. Parents have stored them for me. I’ve had friends help me move them from apartment to apartment. I stress over how to display so many books. I worry that I haven’t read all of these books and if someone asks me about one of them, I won’t have anything to say. I think about making a list of which books I want to re-read but there’s so many it’s hard to decide. Some of these books have sentimental value. “Brave New World” by Aldous Huxley is my favorite book.

I’m tempted to say I love this thing but that’s not appropriate.

I don’t love things.

I love people and experiences.

I love the experience of reading this book for the first time in high school and being blown away by the world Huxley created, the anti-establishment ideals it embodied, and how foreshadowing his concepts were and still are. That’s the sentiment. I have that whether I possess his book or not. This is a book that I will keep. I am keeping about 15-20 books. Some are literary. Some are informational. I feel all of them will serve me. Even out of those 15-20, if I had to get rid of them, if they got destroyed in a fire, I would not cry. I would not worry. They are just books. I can find them online if I need them later. If anything, I’d be relieved that I didn’t have to occupy myself with storing/organizing them. I won’t keep these last 15-20 books because I think I need them. I don’t need them. I want them so that I can learn from them, escape through them, and further enrich my writing practice at this moment. Once they have served me and have no other purpose, I will get rid of them.

I don’t own these things.

I am simply borrowing them.

They are temporary, as am I.

This mindset really puts “things” in perspective. I’m more mindful when I need to buy a thing, when I am gifted a thing, when things find their way into my home. This translates well to emotions too. For me, this is a lot harder than just getting rid of stuff. When someone does something that causes me to feel something, it’s really hard to not let that emotion take over but I can stop myself from acting on it impulsively.

When I find a safe space, I take that emotion to my journal and figure out where it came from and what I want to do with it.

Sometimes, I decide I will act on it. Sometimes, it’s an “old feeling” that does not serve me anymore, so I try to let it go through more writing.

I don’t have space for everything. I only have space for me and the things that serve me at this moment. I’m making more space for me and my passions and cutting out the distractions — material and immaterial. My passion is writing. Most of my “physical” writing is secure on the “cloud.” Things like journals are not, but if these were to be destroyed I would be sad, but I would also move on. You have to. Minimalism isn’t just about de-cluttering or living out of a suitcase.

For me, it’s a deeply reflective practice in defining who I am, not through the things I own, but through my passions and behavior.

I strongly recommend the work of The Minimalists. I didn’t fully commit to minimalism until I discovered their podcast. They have a documentary that is definitely worth watching. I rented it on Amazon Prime. They also have books.

If it pleases you, please tell me what role minimalism has in your life? When did you discover it? How has it improved your life? What are your struggles?

Let’s Talk

Thank you to everyone who’s visited my blog and read my work. It really means a lot knowing that my work appeals to someone else, even if its only one person.

Yesterday someone reached out to me and told me this blog inspired them to start journalling again and that made my day.

I started this blog because I was going through an intense transition in entire life and felt like I had no one to listen. Now, this blog is a home for my creative writing and a safe space to discuss things like mental health, personal development, self-care, and life in general.

I would make this blog even if no one read it, but hearing how my words helped someone or inspired someone encourages me to keep going and doing this.

If you have found anything on this blog helpful, inspiring, or simply enjoyable, please leave a comment, fill out the contact form, or message me directly. It not only helps me but will start a dialogue with the others who read this blog as well.

I don’t want this to just be me talking at you. Writing and life are meant to be discussed and I hope I’ve created a safe space to do that.

If there is something that I can do to facilitate comments, please let me know.

Why I Title My Journal Entries

Why I Title My Journal Entries

Have you ever had something bothering you…on your mind but when you sit down to write for 5, 10, 15 minutes you don’t feel any better? You feel like it accomplished nothing? Like there is something that you are still clawing at or that is clawing at you and you still have something that needs to be fleshed out?

I used to feel like this. I’d wake up feeling some sort of general anxiety. I couldn’t put my finger on it exactly but felt like it had something to do with “apples”. So, I’d took out my journal and started writing about apples but then my mind wandered off and I started writing about celery and grocery shopping. You get the point. At the end, I was still thinking about apples as if I had more to say but that was more distant. I still felt that pesky general anxiety about apples.

About two or three months ago, I decided to try something new and created a title for my journal entry. Lets call it “work”. I was only going to write about work and I was going to write every single thought and feeling I could think of about work in that session. I brain-dumped on the page(s) and once I was done, I had nothing else to say about work. My mind was unburdened. I released all of the anxieties about work out on the page and I felt so much better.

Then I did it again, with other things, like people in my life, goals, other interests, and most important other anxieties. What this did for me was turn down the dial on my anxieties and depression. I could convert more energy to the present instead of on the past or the unpredictability of the future.

I became happier, more focused, and self-aware.

Through this practice, I’ve found that there are feelings that we hide from ourselves—our subconscious’s defense mechanism. When we write without editing or filtering or judging, we allow our subconscious to release some of those feelings in a safe space so we can do something with them. What we do with them is individual to each person. What we have now is more information about what’s going on in our head, and less in our head to manage. We can free ourselves through this constraint.

If it pleases you, leave a comment below if this is something you do or have tried because of this post.

Priorities

This morning, I finally decided to confront my change in behavior. What changed? For the past week or so, I hadn’t done my morning journalling or written anything creative. I wasn’t doing my morning meditation or oil massage. These are things that serve me, ground me, inspire me, and make me feel my best each day.

But I’d discovered something new. Mobile Living. This excites me and I’ve spent hours this week reading articles, watching videos, and window-shopping this lifestyle. Its something I’m going to make happen. When? At least 3-5 years down the road. The thing is, I have more immediate goals like getting accepted to grad school when is a 1-2 year goal. I wasn’t focused on that this past week.

When I find something new, I’m like a whale.

I dive deep forgetting to come up to breathe and about the stuff I left bobbing at the surface.

I hadn’t given myself time to process this new interest, by writing about it, and setting aside time to explore it without cutting into my self-care time/daily routine.

Putting time towards this new interest will not help me in the long-run if I can’t even accomplish my now-goals. I journalled this morning and realized that my priorities were out of order. It happens sometimes. Now I can re-focus on my more immediate goals which makes those long-term goals more of a reality.

Now things are back to normal.

5/3/18: Hidden Pain

What if my writing is only fueled by pain, depression, and fear? As I get better at dealing with my depression, I may lose the red eye who cast everything in such a terrific color. Why am I worried about this? I didn’t write a poem yesterday. I can’t write one right now. I must be overreacting. Look, see, I’m writing at this moment. Oh listen, there’s insecurity knocking!

 

4 Reasons Why to Go to Work

  1. Future me will have less work
  2. I’ll distract myself from this mental masturbation

 

I’m not proud of what I do. I want to tell people I’m a writer and let that be the dialogue that is “Andrea.” Gosh, things were so good and how they’ve somehow changed. Am I just making up reasons to be sad? Am I being dramatic?

 

Okay, game plan-hip hop music, get dressed, pack lunch, get outside before I change my mind.

 

 

Poem: Writer’s Block

I can be a great writer

I feel it banging on the door of my skull

Trying to get down here to the tip of my pen

But goddamn when I really want it

It bars the door with a two-by-four and

All the begging won’t make ‘em come out

 

You know what brats like most?

Snacks-Like articles poems YouTube videos and podcasts

You know                           distractions

A release of self-contained pressure

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