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I don’t want to buy for fashion. I’m not talking just clothes − water bottles, dishes, kitchen appliances, office supplies, notebooks. When a new sleek double-walled water bottle that keeps water cool down to 20o comes out, I don’t need it. My plastic YMCA water bottle still does what I need it to do. It holds water. I also happen to prefer my water lukewarm.

Things don’t make life better or make us happier. Getting a newer version of what I already own doesn’t increase my happiness or ease any perceived burden by enough degrees to warrant the expense. They are just tools. We make life better and we make our own happiness.

I had so many things, some days I thought about throwing them all away. They crowded my physical and mental space. Every time I looked at them, I thought about how they are not serving me. How they were drowning me. How I couldn’t think about writing a poem because I had a pile of dishes in my sink or piles of laundry (half of which I didn’t wear often).

In June, I had a garage sale and eliminated 40-50% of the items I own. What wasn’t sold was donated to the Boys and Girls Club. That was really the gamechanger. I had officially minimized my things and now I could focus on how I wanted to live in this new space. I rearranged some furniture to increase the spaciousness. I reorganized the items I still have to make them easier to use, clean, and store. It was like moving into a new apartment. Some of the best moments that have come out of this are:

It takes less than half the time to find an outfit and get dressed.

You know all of those clothes that you have that you haven’t worn because you don’t have anything to pair it with, that you are telling yourself you’ll wear when you lose 10 pounds, that you haven’t worn in years but its in great condition, that looked good on the rack but when you tried it on at home it made you feel bad….I got rid of them. When I look in my closet, I don’t feel unhappiness, shame, guilt, or not good enough. I have all of my favorites and I look forward to wearing them all. I just pick an outfit, lay it on the bed, and get dressed after my shower.

Less time and money spent on doing laundry.

With less clothes, there are less resources spent on maintaining them. I can do smaller loads more often and wear my favorites more. I spend less money on electricity running my washer for multiple large loads. I don’t end up running a load multiple times because I hated hanging laundry and forgot about it in the washer for hours.

Cleaning is relaxing.

With less things, I have less things on the floor because they all have a home now and can fit into my existing furniture. Putting things away takes a fraction of the time and vacuuming and sweeping is a breeze.

I don’t have significantly less dishes than before. I kept most of them. What happened is that the rest of my house became easier to clean and the tasks that used to take the most time and the most energy, I now have time and energy for and seem small compared to before.

I no longer dread cleaning and maintenance and actually do a little bit everyday like, putting away clothes that I’ve worn, wiping down counters, making my bed, washing dishes, sweeping, filling the water filter.

For me, there have been no negatives. I love my new space. I love how I have more options. I love the light feeling I get whenever I am there. Rather than bring happiness, this process has removed stress and burden.

Now that my possessions are under control, I have put more effort and time into continuing the journey to minimize my use of technology to increase time and space for more important things in my life; and to minimize the way I do things to increase productivity and decrease double-work. I look forward to sharing that once I’m done.

A few days ago, I was upset about some coworkers on my team getting back late from lunch which meant I couldn’t go to lunch on time. I had to go to lunch nearly 30 minutes later than usual. I don’t eat breakfast. That’s my thing. Lunch is very important to me. After I left for lunch and ate, I was still frustrated. Not just at my team but with work in general. I’d also had some other mild anxieties roaming round in my head I just needed a break from all of it, but I couldn’t leave work. I took out my journal and wrote during lunch that day. Here’s an excerpt:

“I want comfort. I’m glad I’m here at the page instead of down at the food truck or at the vending. I don’t want to eat for comfort but it feels like my brain is starving for it right now. The frustration I feel wont go away after I eat, it will just be dulled while I’m eating. I’ll be distracted. I’ll regret it. I’ll be mad at myself for being weak then try and tell myself not to be too hard on myself.

This is an opportunity to serve my body, not just my mind. My body has a voice and so often I don’t listen. I let the brain’s voice take over because the body doesn’t “think” right?

The body knows itself better than the brain. The body had no sub-conscious. It does not hide things from us. It screams and sings when we listen and when we don’t. With the body, there’s a tangible breaking point.

The brain is a Matryoshka doll. Each doll holds a part of you. As a child, we can see all of our dolls/selves and they are complete and visible. As we age, we are taught to hide certain selves. Our brain learns to do this on its own, requiring no conscious thought, hiding parts of us we didn’t know were there.

Prying them open is hard, painful, and releases trauma. Most people need a professional for this. I did. The brain is so good at smoothing out the seams. The body can burst them open. Sometimes it takes trauma to the body to recognize trauma in the mind. It doesn’t have to get to that point, if we listen to our bodies. We’ll recognize the brain and body may not be in sync and there we start to work on why.

Listen to you body as you would your brain.”

I did not pacify my emotions with food. That was a win for that moment. I continued to write about what was really bothering me and worked to come to terms with those feelings.

In the moment, its hard to stop your id in its ravenous tracks, reflect, and make a conscious choice. That’s best way to grow. It’s a lot hard after the fact, when your belly is full and your mind is drunk.